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What if

What if you stayed over ? What if you didn’t find the excuse to leave early? Bc sometimes things happen and you just

Vulnerability

For me it’s confiding in someone. It could be anything used against you. Good news bad news. You’re not suppose to be conditioned to keep things to yourself. But I am. For an example. I just graduated from my Friday class. I no longer have to go to class on Fridays. However, I share this good news with my mom. I do something like relapse and piss her off. The first thing she will do is cut you down anywhere it hurts. For me it’s my Friday class. After shoving everything off my dresser onto the floor (I’ve wanted to do something like that I bet it feels good) calling me names spitting in my face from the yelling she also wants to sabotage my classes. Nobody said recovery is easy. I’m not an angel. I’m not a saint. But I am human. I will fall I will rise and I will fall again and just the same I will rise. I will eventually rise higher. But until then I just don’t feel like I need someone standing over the pavement while I bite the curb.

Dripping Down My Throat

The Adrenalin kicks in and I finally feel happy and normal and it just takes the edge off. What’s the point of being sober when all I feel is pain? To be continued..

Making New Memories

have you ever lost someone in your life and at the beginning you’re okay with it because you know it’s for the best ? But then later flashbacks come to you out of no where, certain smells, the season of the year, certain activities, or even the fear of never finding something relatively close to the love and happiness you once had. It sucks. For me this person and I were in a toxic relationship. But I can’t help to be reminded of all the good times and how he changed me as a person. Some people are suppose to just cross your path to teach you something new. And then there are some people that are suppose to stay in your life. It’s harder to walk away than it is to stay. It takes courage to walk away but it takes mighty strength to stay away. I can’t teach courage but I can help with strength. To be continued…